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Of all the guys on this Win this War project, I've known Marc, Jason, Glenn and Jeremy the longest. In fact, Glenn and Jeremy wrote this endorsement that appears inside the front cover of Tactics:
Engaging in a topic so many people are afraid to talk about, Tactics takes us into the locker room and shows us the playbook, pointing out the opponent's strengths, challenging us to continue to train hard, and reminding us that we have a loving Father who shows up at every game, cheering us on. Fred is the father many of my generation wish they'd had. His words on sexual purity-and the specific damage and rewards to one's social life when one radically commits to it-are some of the most insightful I've come across.
You can catch a glimpse of my relationship with the band from this quote from another of my books, Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle:
I was reminded again about this concept recently when a Canadian Christian band named "downhere" stayed in our home. The band was deeply touched by Every Man's Battle, and we came into contact shortly after that when we asked them to provide some music for the Every Young Man's Battle video. I enjoyed getting to know these guys. When I heard they were traveling through Des Moines on their way to a show, I invited them to flop at our house for the night.
Like all guys, we began to swap stories, hanging out laughing in the family room well into the night. I kicked it off with this one. It seems that one Christmas break, my friend Dave joined Brian and me to visit our favorite high school teacher, Rick Baylor.
Mr. Baylor had been bragging about his trip to Jamaica and the prized box of Jamaican cigars he'd carried home. When we arrived that night, he hadn't made it home yet, but he'd left the back door unlocked and open for us. Entering the house, we soon spotted the cigars displayed prominently in the den. Instantly, we hatched a plan.
Hustling to the nearest 7-11, we bought a bunch of cheap cigars approximating the size of his prized Jamaicans. Hiding the Jamaicans, we set the empty box on the coffee table between us. Lighting about four cigars each, and puffed them down to the nubs as quickly as possible without burning our lips. (We didn't smoke 'em, of course. We just didn't inhale-like Bill Clinton.)
We squashed a dozen butts into three ashtrays and, for good measure, we emptied three-quarters of his bottle of Jack Daniels into a bowl and hid that, too. Through the smoky haze, it looked for the world as if we'd smoked all of Rick's prized Jamaicans in a drunken bash of glory.
Rick finally arrived with his wife, Melissa, who opened the door only to be assaulted by the fragrant aroma of cigar smoke and booze. Slurring our words, we called out tipsy greetings to our dear friends. Spotting the cigar butts piled high and a drained whiskey bottle crowning the ashy mess, Melissa marched straight up to her room, livid. With great effort, Rick maintained an even keel, but his lips pursed tightly as he struggled to contain his temper. Meanwhile, we laughed and carried on, complimenting him on what a fine host and friend he was to provide us with stogies and drink.
We originally wanted to keep up the charade and hold his feet to the fire well into the night, but the clouds were beginning to rumble ominously over Rick's head. When we thought he couldn't stand the indignation one more minute, we blurted the truth-while laughing quite hysterically at him. Rick managed a tight smile, but the shock was still too real for him.
When the boys in the band heard me retell this story, the floodgates were opened. As the night wore on, the stories got a little deeper and a little more serious.
We shared stories of family.
Stories of pain.
Stories of amazing coincidences.
That's how men are. The longer we swapped stories in the family room, the deeper we went. We connected in the way guys connect . . . through storytelling.
That's what I love best about the band downhere....the guys behind it, and the fun stories we swap and the laughs we have. Oh, sure, they are great artists, no question, and perhaps no band has had any bigger musical impact on my kids as a whole. They've won a Dove Award. Marc has been voted Christian Vocalist of the Year. Their song-writing talent (and especially their lyric work) is outstanding because they are so fresh in the way they see the world.
But I've also been with them at many of their shows, and I've seen them mill around and mix with the youth before and after they play. I've seen them backstage even more than I've seen them on stage, and I'm very certain that they are some of the most Godly, friendly guys I know. I love to watch them minister, whether the venue is a large, "important" one or a small one in some obscure town in Iowa. They treat everyone the same, and they treat every event the same. My heart is always with them, and I know their hearts are with me. I couldn't be happier to give them two song slots on Win This War, but what makes me happiest is simply knowing them.
Check out downhere's Official Website
Guys, thanks for your friendship,
Fred Stoeker
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